Culture tells us a story about work centered on our individual success. We will finally be
happy with the title, the job, the salary. Of late, the story has shifted: we will finally be whole
if we join the right cause and solve our world’s social issues, while also obtaining flexibility,
work-life balance, and a fun work environment (when I want to come to an office). Though
there are things to praise about this shift, it still centers on me, trading career climbing for
personal comfort.
Christians tell a different story about work. Christians say that since God himself works, and
Adam and Eve were called into the Garden of Eden “to work it and care for it,” work is
intrinsically noble (Genesis 2:2, 5, 15). Many others, particularly in Reformed communities,
also believe work is a charge to build and cultivate human civilization based on God’s
command to “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it,” (1:28). Work is
good and a chance to impact culture.
Having shared this story probably hundreds of times, I heard honest critiques of this story
about work as well. “Jeff, that’s just high-minded idealism for people who’ve never had a real
job in their lives.” So I tell the other half of the biblical story about work: “Cursed is the
ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life,” (3:17).
Genesis clearly paints a picture of the Fall and how it’s impacted our work, stretching from
the “thorns and thistles” of daily labor to the monuments to human pride like the Tower of
Babel (Genesis 11). Indeed, in the very field meant for farming, just a few verses after the
Fall, Cain kills his brother (4:8), God reiterates the curse of work (4:12), and the first
technology, tools of bronze and iron, were likely forged for mining…and warfare (4:22).
Work can feel creative, impactful, and important. Yet it can also feel like toil. “So I hated life,
because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me,” says the author of
Ecclesiastes. “All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind,” (2:17).
The truth is: The Bible tells us both stories of work. Work was created good, but is now
fallen. It is a way to cultivate the earth, yet can also corrupt the earth. Work is new business
creation, teaching children to read, and works of art; it is also conflict with co-workers, being
unjustly fired, and workplace injuries – both physical and spiritual. The challenge for us today is to look squarely and honestly at the realities of work, and ask
better, more honest questions.
Not only, “What work am I doing?” but “What is work doing to me?”
Cracks In My Armor
We used to live in a two-bedroom townhouse behind a shopping mall. Between my wife, three kids and myself, it was a tight fit. One baby usually slept in a Pack-N-Play in a bathroom. But we felt grateful, like that maroon, split level home with tile countertops was God’s gift to us early in our married lives.
For years I worked at a Christian school during the day, but by night, I plotted out in a wire-bound notebook my own dream: an organization that connects the gospel to the industries of our world. One evening in late 2012, I came home from work and my wife had rearranged our garage into an office, complete with a desk, lamp, printer, space heater, and peg board sectioning off storage bins from the computer. “Honey, I believe you can do this,” she said to me. “I’m for you.” The tears welled up in my eyes. Her affirmation was just what I needed to hear.
And so I went for it. I spent a year recruiting a board, fundraising, building a plan, designing logos and eventually launching our first event, a gathering on faith and technology in one of America’s most secular cities, Boulder, Colorado. In the first several years, even I was surprised by our success. We got our first grant, built a donor base, launched new events, developed a leadership program, and began to hire staff. From the outside, it looked all “up and to the right.” Our budget was growing, our brand was starting to get recognition, and people I had never met somehow knew me.
But about 5 years in, I started to notice cracks in my armor. I would come home exhausted, with very little in the tank for my family, and often fall asleep an hour or two before my wife. When my kids needed discipline, I would sometimes explode in anger, and then quickly apologize, genuinely not knowing where that outburst came from. I noticed a feeling of near elation when we were “winning” – landing a large gift, hosting a successful event – and severe disappointment bordering on despair when I was rejected, slighted, or one of my plans flopped. I felt drawn to unhealthy patterns and a growing coldness within.
I noticed a growing divide between my exterior self and my interior self. My work persona (and LinkedIn profile) was all about success: growing influence, recognition, and public impact. But internally, I felt thin, lost, and concerned.
One day I pulled up to a stoplight in our family minivan. Waiting to cross the street was a thin white man, mid-twenties, wearing baggy jeans, stained shoes, and a tattered tank top. He had buzzed hair, an unkept beard, bags under his eyes, and a cigarette hanging out his mouth. I said to my wife, who was sitting next to me, “Honey, I feel like that guy looks.”
Rather than allowing faith to form my work, as my organization was built around, I felt like I had let my work deform me. Was this a calling from God, or had I simply baptized my own ambition? The world was cheering me on, but inside, I felt myself disengaging, disconnecting, and growing ever-wearier. I felt a growing need to shield those around me. And I had to ask myself a hard question: was I a part of the solution for what’s gone wrong in the world, or was I a part of the problem?
I’ve come to the conclusion that “faith and work” is not first about impact, success, or even a way to advance the gospel in the world – it’s about who we’re becoming in the process of our working lives.
Could there be a way to neither disengage from work, nor fall prey to the illusions of success, but instead live a truly healthy, whole life? A life that integrated and healed my heart and my mind, my work and my relationships, and the world around me?
This article is an excerpt from my latest book Working from the Inside Out: A Brief Guide to Inner Work that Transforms Our Outer World. It’s also available as an audio book. Click here for a free study guide.